Helping Children Adapt to a New School

If the school offers one, consider attending an orientation program. This can ease a bit of your child’s first-day anxiety by giving them a sense of familiarity before they even begin their new school experience. For younger children, it can help them get acquainted with their new environment, new teachers, and classrooms. For older children, it can help them find their classroom, locker, cafeteria, etc., without the time pressures of a regular school day. 

Be consistent: Maintain a consistent daily routine by setting regular times for waking up, eating meals, doing homework, and going to bed. Not only does this help children know what to expect each day, which will reduce their anxiety, it can also help kids adjust to new time zones and schedules more smoothly.  

Include your child: Asking your child for their input when establishing their routine (and setting up their room) can provide them with a sense of control during a time when so much feels as though it’s beyond their control.  

Encourage your child to stay in touch with old friends: When your child feels like they’re drifting in a sea of unfamiliarity, letters, video calls, or social media connections can feel like a lifeline. Be sure to provide plenty of opportunities for your child to connect with old friends from their old school and neighborhood — and give them plenty of hugs and reassurance after they hang up or put their letters away. 

Keep communication lines open at home:   Children need to know that despite all of the change going on around them, that you’ll be a consistent source of support and understanding while they’re adjusting to their new home. Be sure to let them know that any emotion they may be feeling is not only OK, it’s acceptable. Encourage them express their feelings in healthy ways, create a safe space for them to share, listen to their concerns and validate their emotions.   

During a relocation a child’s emotions and feelings can shift dramatically and often. Checking in as a family will be a meaningful way to show your child that you understand and accept this reality. Consider scheduling family meetings to talk about their school experiences and any challenges they may be facing, but also celebrate their wins, from learning a new word in their host country’s language to making a new friend. In between family meetings, try finding ways to acknowledge how everyone is feeling on a daily basis. For young children, this can include making a daily chart where family members can add happy, sad, angry or scared faces that the family can talk about during dinner. For older children it could include a creating a family phone texting group where they can text an emoji. I remember years ago, when my young daughter texted me the frustrated/horrified emoji that looks like the man on the bridge in Edvard Munch’s painting “The Scream.” I knew right away what it meant and texted back: Your favorite soup, a warm blanket and a good comedy tonight?  After a few good belly laughs and hugs, she was ready to talk about her tough day.

Get involved at the community level: If you have the time, consider joining parent-teacher associations or local community groups, or volunteer your services at an after school activity to build a new support network for both you and your child. As the other adults in the group talk about their own children you may discover similarities between their children’s interests and your own and encourage play dates and get-togethers.  

Get your child involved in after-school activities: Enroll your children in extracurricular activities, either at school or in local studios, gyms, and libraries, where they can meet peers with similar interests. As they find children they’re drawn to organically, you might even develop friendships with their parents, benefitting you and your child as you integrate into your new community.    

Get Social:   Whether you’re attending a colleague’s dinner party where other children will be, visiting a local park, or setting up a group playdate with some classmate’s from your child’s class, getting social benefits both you and your child. Consider hosting a small gathering at your home and inviting new neighbors or coworkers who have children — or ask your child’s teacher to put invitations for a playdate (or a parent-child lunch) in classmates’ backpacks; by arranging social events outside of school, you can help your child build new friendships outside of school, faster.